Every time when I in my good will reach out to people and want to believe they're not so stupid they prove me otherwise. I swear. Every. Single. Time.  

 You might've notice I was off from this blog for a month or so - mostly because Christmas happened and my family outside of me are devout Catholics so there was the whole cleaning cooking suffering ordeal (my mum was cleaning, sister was cooking and I was suffering, don't make the mistake), but also cause no matter how chill I seem on the outside, dealing with upcoming death is…depressing to say at least. I got a little bit antisocial, a little bit sleepy all the time and a whole lot sad. Oh, and I stopped showering, that too.

 Anyway, I’ve been forced to postpone my depression to after midterms, because uni doesn't discriminate and no matter how Dying you are you gotta study. And sometimes beg. Yesterday it was the latter, and I was forced to meet my sculpture teach who somehow cannot understand the term “accommodation” and forces me to do sculptures in clay I literally cannot do cause of my shitty hands and muscle loss in arms. So I went to beg her to let me pass somehow, cause I'm in no way gonna be a sculptor, I just need this goddamn course so I can happily live as a painter slash high school teacher. Ya feel me.

 As I arrived to the uni building, and my uni is intersected into three (or four? Could be wrong) different buildings, I found out, surprise surprise, a staircase with no elevator, even tho the teach said the building is accessible but again maybe that word is also not in her vocabulary not gonna judge. So I was happily and calmly (oh the joys of opiates treatment) in the corridor when this older gentleman spotted me. He was busy boring some poor other student to death, but she went out so it was me - the next victim. 

 And you see, no matter how salty I am on this blog, in real life I'm like the most polite, gentle girl ever. What bites me in the ass quite often but what can you do when you were raised by a woman who apologizes for existing and also is moderately autistic in this quiet, a little bit withdrawn way. I'm a daughter of my own mother and so I am like that too, and also autistic as well, so there wasn't much hope for me. 

 The guy started asking if I'm a student and he seemed just okay-ish in this boring way cause he cracked some unfunny jokes and in general we had a quite pleasant chat. Until. Oh until. Until he went all in, 0 to 100 real quick - and posed one of question I've never, legit never, heard asked so far, and that's an achievement considering bullshit I put up with everyday.

 “I suppose it's not my business but how do you pee?”

 Lol. Hint hint you were right not your business. But. I'm polite yeah? So I bite my tongue while my brain screams at me to tell him “I call ghostbusters how do you pee?” In real Alexa style, and I force this very insincere smile and say I ask mom for help.
 But you see, as I mentioned, real Alexa style would be a rude salty answer and, you see, incidentally real Alexa is me… so before I could bite my tongue again and cherish in the taste of blood, I continue “…why do you wanna watch?” He was offended, obviously, but at least I was true to myself I suppose.

 This post is basically just me telling you an anecdote of how once in my life ableism turned quite funny, but also you know, I had this thought: it's 2017 and we have internet so instead of asking rude questions to wheelchair using strangers on the streets you coulda just google them. But then I wondered: if you google it, will you get an answer? Cause I bet I'm not the only disabled person who's quite pissed (pun intended) with obnoxious strangers irl, and so I doubt anyone wants to continue the same online. 

 So. Here you go and no judgement cause you were smart and googled (or maybe you just read my blog regularly, then full judgement cause I'm fucking terrible what are you doing here).

How do disabled people pee - not paralyzed just EDS edition.
 Let's assume the bathroom is accessible - then I just hold to the railings and move myself and done.  Let's assume the bathroom is inaccessible aka your normal home bathroom for example - then that's why I carry my portable cane with me all the time, shit is tiny and fits into my backpack and it's a lifesaver when I need to get to a place wheelchair won't fit.

 Here you go, mystery solved! So many spoonies saved from obnoxious creeps! Nah just kidding obnoxious creeps don't google their shit. But you did and so I'm proud of you.

 And here's an advice for everyone who's abled and reading this: maybe don't ask strangers how do they pee, cause it's rude, and also they do it just like yourself.

 Since it's midterms and since I'm typing it waiting for my ride to my piano class, I'll just fuck off now. Have nice January people and to lucky polish ones who start winter break soon you're awful awful people and I envy you cause guess who's finals are going through whole January AND February, unbelievable I know.  

 Kiss kiss bye bye and see you next post.